Whispers of Renaissance

I cannot believe it has been almost two years since I have blogged last. Guess I kind of got out of the mood or was not sure what to write about - still do not really, but thought I would try it again.

 In looking at the blogs out there, or at least the ones I come across, that so many of them are written by younger women - and lets just say I would not count myself as one of the younger ones, although in spirit I  see myself there!! But I do not relate to them as they are blogging about their kids and such, and there are a lot of us out here who are way beyond those child bearing years and actually waiting to be a Granma! Maybe I am not looking in the right places ... any suggestions out there????


I am 57 with a birthday coming up and still trying to find myself and what inspires me. I read great stories and articles about how women follow their dreams and just do it - but I am stuck, how does one just do it? And secondly how do you know what your dream is and is it really worth pursuing? I have been with the same company for 25 years, and although the pay is good and generally I like the work, it is not my passion. It does not inspire me to be creative and do more. I ask myself all of the time, what is my passion - how do you determine that? I like doing crafts, I like decorating my house, yet that does not do it for me. And I really do not know what does. Are any of you like this, where you just feel stuck in your life and you do not know what to do or how to get out of the rut?

 Several years back I took writing classes at UCLA online and loved it. But there are so many writers out there, I just say to myself, you are just wasting your time; you will never get published. I have a son who died almost 8 years ago now, of which I have either wanted to write a story about him or a children’s story about disabled children and acceptance, but I don’t – and why don’t I? Who the heck knows? That’s my frustration. Why can't I make myself do these things?


And the funny thing about this is that although I am 57, my parents are still alive and one of my biggest fears is that I will not have accomplished anything worthwhile before they pass away. What kind of thinking is that?


I am afraid but of what I do not know, and everyone says I don't need to why; I just need to do it. OK bloggers, how do I just do it? How do you go forward with your dreams and how do you know what these dreams really are? I guess you could say I need some help!!