Thursday, July 17, 2014

Here We Go

Well I started. Today is actually the first day. I got my box in the mail yesterday with my Isogenix - a new 30 health cleanse. I need this so bad. I feel so sluggish and I know it is because how poorly I have eaten over the many years and the unbelievable number of years I have been drinking diet coke - to an excess. Those 44 oz. Sonic Diet Cokes in Texas...everyday, maybe even twice in addition to having diet coke at home. And I keep reading how horrible these diet drinks are for you. I stopped those also today so will track if I feel better in giving them up. I better because I will surely miss my daily trecks to Sonic!

I began Yoga and oh my gosh. Talk about not having exercised in years - that's me. I had no idea there were those muscles in my body. I am so weak and so unbalanced. I should have started this practice years ago. I went to my first beginners class and loved it. Yes it was hard and I have a long  way to go but am looking forward to the increased strength and flexibility. I have read where yoga is the best thing for a persons physical, mental and spiritual being. I so need this. Going again this morning. Will try to go 4 times per week.

Prior to today , I have been baking  with the idea that I may want to start a business selling sweets; but I got on the scale this morning and had gained 5 pounds since doing this. I don't think this is the business for me. I taste test way too much. How are there ever thin bakers? How do you not taste it to determine if its good or not. I cannot rely just on others, so my mind is working overtime in what else I can do as a side business. Maybe after I get through this 30 day cleanse I will have more will power.

Part of my problem is that I eat when I am stressed, unhappy or just plain bored. I am not hugely overweight. I would say 20 pounds. But the way I relate to food is not healthy. It has been my crutch for so long. I must find another relief for stress. I am hoping yoga fulfills part of that, in addition to walking. My husband and I started o walk. I love being outdoors, especially in the evenings.

I take my measurements today as well - not looking forward to that. We are brought up thinking we have to be this certain size or look and that plays on girls and women's psyche - especially if you have body and eating issues already. I have to rid myself of what I "should" look like and just be happy and comfortable where I choose to be as long as it is a healthy weight for my body type. I always tell myself I want to be like when I was 35 and 120 pounds - yeh right. That will never see the light of day again! And it actually should not. I was almost anorexic looking at that weight. This whole body thing is an issue for me and has been as long as I can remember. With this cleanse and new healthy way of eating and with the help of a woman who provides workshops just for women on Living Well, I am on my way. It will be a struggle. It took me 59 years to get this way and I know it cannot happen overnight. The thought of that magic pill is not going to happen and I finally have to take responsibility for the way I am. I cannot do it for anyone else - it is for me.

More later ...