Sunday, November 7, 2010

Back Home

I traveled to California over the weekend...I had to come back for work for three days; but it seems it's too soon for me. It might sound funny but, I have only been away from what was my home for almost 30 years, for just a little over a month; and as much as I like Texas, one month is not enough to make it like home. It is my dream and hope that it will become my home...

Simi Valley, has a part of me still here and it is difficult to come back knowing I once again have to leave. See, I left my son here at Assumption Cemetery. My family told me I should wait for at least 6 months before I move him to Texas, but its so hard to have part of me left in California. I know what you are all thinking that my son is with me wherever I go, and yes I know that, but I am also want him close to me. It brings me comfort going to the cemetery and sitting with him and talking to him. With me in Texas and him here, I cannot do that.

It's also hard to see all the familiar surroundings and all the memories my kids and I had here. I know I will eventually get over the difficulty of coming back to Simi but this trip is hard ...


time-worn interiors said...

I have lived in Kentucky most my life, but long to live in Texas! I know it must be hard to leave a place you've lived for so long, but the opportunity to experiance someplace new is what I long for. I'm sure you will figure out what is best for your son in time. In the mean while I will pray that this move gets easier for you.

Jamie said...

I'm here if you need anything . . . I wish I could help ease the pain.

Lindsay said...

i totally think i would cry if i went home right now for a couple days then had to leave. i dont want to go unless i know i am staying. i am getting kind choked up right now thinking about it.
i miss it so so much!!!

shirley said...

Dear Sharon, I would love to share with you if I might this short poem by Robert Frost. It has been with me for almost 19 yrs. I keep it right here where I can see it every day.

"The rain to the wind said,
"You push and I'll pelt."
They so smote the garden bed,
that the flowers actually knelt,
and lay lodged-though not dead.
I know how the flowers felt."

I feel just like this almost every day. Just like a flower must feel after being pelted so hard by the force of wind and rain. We are hit so hard by our loss that it really hurts like hell. Some days I feel better, others not so much.
Along with Mr. Frost, we know how you feel.