The thing I like least about the holidays are the family gatherings. I know that may sound so odd to so many of you, but I grew up watching those silly Christmas movies and as a child that is how you want your holidays to be; even as an adult I want the holidays to be like that. But they are not. Oh they are with my immediate family, my children and husband, but not so much with my extended family. Seems there is always tension and we cannot thoroughly enjoy ourselves. One Christmas I would like to rent a cabin and have everyone come up there, not buy any presents, say away from the materialistic and get to know one another again; make homemade gifts; cut a tree down; sing Christmas carols; sit around the fire and have one of those Christmas I always hoped for ...
It is different these past five years, or actualy going on six years without Erich, my son. The holidays make it so obvious someone so important is missing from your family. For six years I have not even spent Chrismtas at home. I can't bear to be home with out him on Christmas. The girls and I and hubby always went away to the mountains, to hotels, to anywhere but home.We are home this Christmas and I am afraid to do it...afraid because he won't be here. Oh my gosh he and the girls loved Christmas together ...what a site to see and hear!
We have to remake our Christmas traditions now so that we can enjoy it once again ...Erich would want that for us. It is hard to do though, it is safe and comfortable in the old.
1 comments:
Sharon,
I know what you mean, I have had trouble the last three years since my husband died, so much of our Christmas was around him , especially the food ( he loved to cook ). The kids are trying to keep up the traditions, because they love them so much. But those very traditions bring back memories and make me cry, it is bitter sweet. I guess we suck it up and try to be jolly so the little ones ( I have a new grandson this year )will always remember Christmas with joy.
Hold the rest of you family close and make new memories. Life is short , as I've learned , so make the most of it. Erich would want that !
Sharon
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