Day #8 - Things I Like Least About the Holidays

The thing I like least about the holidays are the family gatherings. I know that may sound so odd to so many of you, but I grew up watching those silly Christmas movies and as a child that is how you want your holidays to be; even as an adult I want the holidays to be like that. But they are not. Oh they are with my immediate family, my children and husband, but not so much with my extended family. Seems there is always tension and we cannot thoroughly enjoy ourselves. One Christmas I would like to rent a cabin and have everyone come up there, not buy any presents, say away from the materialistic and get to know one another again; make homemade gifts; cut a tree down; sing Christmas carols; sit around the fire and have one of those Christmas I always hoped for ...

It is different these past five years, or actualy going on six years without Erich, my son. The holidays make it so obvious someone so important is missing from your family. For six years I have not even spent Chrismtas at home. I can't bear to be home with out him on Christmas. The girls and I and hubby always went away to the mountains, to hotels, to anywhere but home.We are home this Christmas and I am afraid to do it...afraid because he won't be here. Oh my gosh he and the girls loved Christmas together ...what a site to see and hear!

We have to remake our Christmas traditions now so that we can enjoy it once again ...Erich would want that for us. It is hard to do though, it is safe and comfortable in the old.

Day 6 - Gift Ideas (What I Would Want!)

Gift Ideas ... it's always hard for me to come up with ideas for gifts for me. I much prefer buying for others.

HAPPY SHOPPING FAMILY ...and you know I love anything you get me!

Day 5 - Favorite Holiday Movie

Favorite Holiday Movie ... hands down is Miracle on 34th street ( new version) I love that movie. My kids and I watch it every Christmas two or three times and still get all sappy when we watch it. I watch it when I decorate the house and then again the girls and I watch it when we decorate the tree. Its become a tradition for so long now I cannot remember not watching it during Christmas.

I also love watch all the movies on FALALALA family movie station. There are so corny but make you really in the mood.

Day 4 - Budgeting for the Holidays

Budgeting for the Holidays...well that is NOT my area of expertise. I know I should wait until a week or so before Christmas to buy the clothes for my girls but if I wait that long they may not have anything left. so I buy early and unfortunately I buy alot. But it is so much fun. I love giving gifts for the holidays. Much more so than even receiving them. Its just so fun to see if I picked right, if they like it...some years I do great then there are those years where I picked very poorly and everything gets exchanged...lol! But it is still so much fun.

So I am the worst one to ask for budgeting advise for Holidays! Sorry about that!

Happy Shopping.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all the wonderful women in blog land. It has been such a fun experience and pleasure reading all the blogs out there..makes me feel like I am part of a community.

Wow Thanksgiving just kind of snuck up this year but I am ready. It is 8:11 am and all the goodies I am bringing to the meal are done! My cousin is having it over at her house with about 21 people...can't wait. I love big crowds for this day ... family, friends, good food, games, football ... who could ask for anything more.

But there is more to Thanksgiving ... it is a day we should all be grateful and thankful for all that we have...oh, we may not have everything we want but I do believe we have everything we need.

I am thankful for my husband. He is a step dad to my children and loves them like his own. It is hard for him to be in this role. I don't always make it easy; neither do the girls, but he is a trooper and keeps on, no matter what. I love him dearly for that. And I am thankful for the love that he has for me and for his unending patience.

I am thankful for my two daughters who are the joy of my life. They bring me so much happiness. I have watched them grow up into such warm, beautiful, charming women; each unique in their own way; each with their quirky behaviors; each with a "bitchy" side; and each with a love that is endless.

I am grateful, blessed and thankful that I had 24 amazing, awesome and beautiful years with my son. I miss him more each day and Thanksgiving, besides Christmas, was one of his favorite holidays...he loved those mashed potatoes and gravy! I am recently beginning to have faith and believe that my son is happy, disease free, and perfecly OK in heaven with all that God gives to him.

I am thankful for my handsome and charming son-in-law who loves and adores my daughter like no other.

I am thankful for my family, both far and near. If it were not for family ... life would be empty. Family gives you your foundation and balance in life. My family can be brutally honest and yet loving; they can be funny and crazy and mixed-up and that makes me love them even more.

And last I am thankful for my life. It may not be the life that I dreamed about years and years ago, but it is my life, and it is a life with unending possibilities. It is time I embrace those possibilities ...

Happy Thanksgiving and may your day be blessed with family and friends!

Day 3 Christmas Challenge

Day 3 - Memorable Gifts

How do I cut it down to top two memorable gifts...there have been so many!

The first one is a marble statue of the "Pieta" that my son Erich gave me years ago. It holds special meaning that only a mom who lost a son can understand...it sits out and reminds me of Erich everyday...he too understood the meaning of it when he gave it to me.

The second gift is the three mothers rings that my children gave to me ... one for each child with their birthstone. I wear it with my wedding rings every day.

I do have a few more that are real special ...

One is a porcelain fairy ... it is about 30 inches and has the most beautiful face and long red hair. My husband gave it to me on our first Christmas together. And the last one is a stuffed "junk bear" my kids gave me . It is the cutest thing.

Day 2 - Christmas Challenge

Day 2: Black Friday / General Shopping Tricks and Tips -

As good as sales may be I never go out on Black Friday. That is one day that will get me out of the Christmas season.

Do as much shopping as you can online ... did it last year and hardly stepped foot in a store.

Go to the mall to enjoy yourself ... AFTER you have done all your shopping on line.

Go to the outside mall in the evening when its cold .. wrap up like it's winter, feels so much more like Christmas that way.

Walk around with your favorite person, get some hot chocolate and listen to the Christmas music while watching all those crazies do their shopping.

Whatever your mode of shopping is ... just remember the real reason for this season.

Happy Shopping!

Christmas Challenge - Day 1

I got this Christmas challenge over at my daughters blog who got it from Ally's blog and thought it might be fun to join in.

I really cannot believe Thanksgiving is here this week and then Christmas. It always seems to just pop up and it's here. It comes and goes so fast and it is the best season of the year. Being in Texas for our first Christmas will be different as I don't get to spend it with my immediate family however my Texas family is great and I know it will be so much fun!

Day One - Christmas Holiday Traditions

* Usually always put up Christmas decorations day after Thanksgiving ... this year however have done it already as I want my cousins to see my house decorated!

* Always watch Miracle on 34th Street while decorating and while putting up our tree. I love the newer version of it... my kids love that movie also!

* Hallmark Ornaments fill my tree - I started a tradition when my kids were born and if there was a series that started the year they were born, I began that with them. My son started off with trains, but Hallmark ended that, then cars, but ended, so after two series ended, I just got him whatever he was interested in that year! My older daughter gets the houses and 27 years later Hallmark still has that series going...I love it. She may be getting tired of them ...but I love em! My youngest daughter ... I get her whatever she is interested in that year and boy does it vary from sports to cooking! I love our tree with all these ornaments...and oh I still have all the ornaments my kids made in elementary school!

* Christmas morning ... always made the kids wait in there room until everyone was ready. I have the cutest pictures of when the kids were little and they would be just waiting to come down stairs or run out of their rooms. Patience kids ...patience! Sometimes just to torture them a bit, I would take my time getting ready!! (lol)

* Oh and the cinnamon rolls. We have to have the canned cinnamon rolls every Christmas ... yummy!

* The last tradition ... to make Christmas last longer, we open gifts one at a time. I love it this way as it lasts about hour and a half, this way the anticipation just builds!

I hope you all join inthe fun at Ally's blog.

Great Truths #2

Another Monday for Great Truths #2 ... Great Truths that Adults Have Learned

Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree

Wrinkles don't hurt

Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground

Laughing is good exercise .. it's like jogging on the inside

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber ... not the toy

Have a fantastic Monday!

Sunday

My daughter had this cute fill in the blank post, so I thought I would play along with it also ...

I kick start my day with ... A DIET COKE ... or two or three!

Other daily essentials ... yogurt and granola and sometime during the day salty chips!

My recent splurge ... driving back to Texas from California, my husband and I had a Dairy Queen LARGE ice cream dipped in chocolate ... the best ever!

Can't stop watching ... Criminal Minds

Top Shop ... J Jill

Working out to ... Curves (change stations now!)

Signature Scent ... Sarah Jessica Parker's LOVELY

You won't find me ... ever eating cooked vegetables

I heart ... my three kids, my son- in law and my husband

Beauty Indulgence ... nothing better than a facial

Dreaming About ... starting a business

Hope you all had a great Sunday, now onto a busy week!

Back in Town

Back in town from San Angelo. Had a great time visiting with my aunts, uncle and cousins. Saw some beautiful parts of San Angelo I had not seen before. Have not always been crazy about west Texas, but there are some parts that are real pretty. Of course we went to my favorite store in San Angelo, Eggmeyers. Best store ever, has something for everyone! And every time we go we take a picture sitting on the bench in front of the store.

I did a little antique shopping but must not have been in the mood as I did not find anything, came home empty handed, so was a bit disappointed. I think I need lessons in what to look for when it comes to smaller items. I know what I like in larger items and furniture but its the smaller ones not so sure about???

We did do one craft. My cuzin' thought it might be cute to make stockings, but instead of the normal stocking, make them out of UG Boots (not the real ones!). So off we went in search of things to decorate our boots with. It was fun creating these stocking s with them....of course we had input from cuzin's husband, my uncle and aunt and had such a great time ! Of course my cuzin' is not so good with a glue gun and don't know how many expletives were said that night!!

Now off to a busy week with Thanksgiving and all....




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TEXAS THURSDAY

It's Texas Thursday and I am on my way to San Angelo. Cannot wait to stop at all the antique shops along the way...maybe I will get lucky and find some great things! Looking for some items to decorate a cloth wreath, make a top hat and make something for pink christmas!

What's great about Texas this week ... the weather. I love that it is turning cold and the leaves are changing colors. In California we did not have seasons, so this is so beautiful to see. And I love the cold weather so I can wear my sweaters and sweatshirts. They feel so cuddly!

Running out of time...here I come San Angelo! Have a great Thursday!

HAPPY WEDNESDAY

Happy Wednesday! I am so excited to be hooking up with Jamie and Lindsay to do "What I'm Loving Wednesday". My daughter does it and has such sweet things to share so thought I would try it out. Not that I have things to share like she does ...

I love that I am going to visit my aunt and cousin in San Angelo for three days and I get to go to all the antique stores along the way!

I'm loving that I got to relive my daughter's wedding all over again as she just received her wedding video ... what a great day that was!

I'm loving that my husband and I started to yak while away in California!

I'm loving that my family doesn't get mad at me when I don't call them for over a week.

I'm loving that it is finally getting cold outside and I can start wearing sweatshirts.

I'm loving that my family is all together in Texas ... even though

they don't all want to be here.

I'm loving that I got my plastic Starbucks cup yesterday ...

been waiting since last Christmas to get one!

I'm loving that the holidays are here .. I love listening to Christmas music!

I hope you all have a great Wednesday ... and are loving it!

Great Truths

For the next few Mondays, I am going to post truths about the SUMMARY OF LIFE. I found these from Sylvia at overthehillblogspot.com and thought they were so funny. What a great way to start a Monday ...

Great Truths That Little Children Have Learned:

1. No Matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If you sister hits you, don't hit her back; they always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a dust buster and cat at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka dot underwear under white shorts
10. The best place to be when your sad is Grandma's lap.

Enjoy your Monday!

Where is Home?

I have been away from blog land for several days ... had to take a trip back to California for work. Strange to be back to a place I lived for thirty some odd years. As my husband and I drove down into Simi Valley, I just started to cry. He couldn't understand why, as he is so glad to be out of California, but for me it is mixed feelings. Driving down into the valley of Simi felt so comfortable. I know every knook and cranny there is to know; all the streets, the shops, places to eat...I know my way around like the back of my hand, and with that comes the comfort of home. I made a huge mistake by going by the house we left; it is still empty and the blinds were open so I looked inside...too many memories. I wanted to be back in that house. I wanted to be home again. I told my husband to call the landlord and lets re rent it. I had to have that home again, I had to feel like I was home again. I had to be close to Erich again, to the memories we all shared as a family. All week I struggled with wanting to be there; and it was no easier when I left. It was too soon to go back and see my home where my kids grew up, where my son died and where my son is buried. It was so hard to leave him once again, but I know that I will need to do this over and over, and I only hope it gets easier.

When I moved o Texas I told myself I would live here for a year and In one year determine if I wanted to stay or go back to California. I do like Texas, I do wish I lived in a different area. Texas to me is about living in the area of my cousin...for years and years that is how I envisioned living here and when we moved here and could not move into that area, it threw me. I live in an area that could be in Simi Valley except the houses are brick. I don't want this type of area. I want to live out in the country, where the trees are, where your neighbors aren't whispering distance away; where my dogs can run around and bark at rabbits and critters and where i can walk outside and see a million stars.

When I left California, I cried for a few hours, i wanted to be back so bad. But as I drove further away from California, my ache for home eased up a bit .. i knew I was headed for my new home and I knew in my heart that i had to make it work. I have wanted to live in Texas for so long; well I am here so I need to find out what the force was that keeps calling me here. I will stay and I will find that force.

It's BLUE MONDAY

I am not at home to take pictures of blue things in my house so went searching on the internet to find some beautiful BLUE ITEMS .

What can be more beautiful than seeing a BLUE herron flying! Incredible.

bLUe can have a calming effect ... makes the time passs more Quickly ...

A "thunder" blue sky with an old barn

Blue is calming ... it can be steadfast and strong or light and friendly.

Blue bonnets of Texas spring time ... I cannot wait!

I hope everyone is enjoying their Blue Monday!

Back Home

I traveled to California over the weekend...I had to come back for work for three days; but it seems it's too soon for me. It might sound funny but, I have only been away from what was my home for almost 30 years, for just a little over a month; and as much as I like Texas, one month is not enough to make it like home. It is my dream and hope that it will become my home...

Simi Valley, has a part of me still here and it is difficult to come back knowing I once again have to leave. See, I left my son here at Assumption Cemetery. My family told me I should wait for at least 6 months before I move him to Texas, but its so hard to have part of me left in California. I know what you are all thinking that my son is with me wherever I go, and yes I know that, but I am also want him close to me. It brings me comfort going to the cemetery and sitting with him and talking to him. With me in Texas and him here, I cannot do that.

It's also hard to see all the familiar surroundings and all the memories my kids and I had here. I know I will eventually get over the difficulty of coming back to Simi but this trip is hard ...

I BELIEVE

I was going to blog about Texas Thursday and another interesting fact I have discovered in this great state; however I was over reading my daughter's blog at ANAMERICANSWEETHONEY and she did her blog today on "I BELIEVE..." It so amazing how much a mother can learn from their child or even a friend doing a blog. Could it be because we are writing and we are free and not afraid because we are writing for no one but ourselves? There is nobody judging us and what we say...but it all comes out; we purge our souls and we let the world in when before we wouldn't let our closest friend in...

I BELIEVE ...

In holding hands ...

In wearing tennis shoes with jeans ...

In not wearing shorts ...

In screaming at the top of my lungs when riding my waverunner ...

In putting my children above all else ...

In wearing boots all year long ...

In curling my hair with hot rollers ...

In big hair ...

In wearing lots of sweatshirts in the winter ...

In eating cornbread with chocalate pudding ...

In eating chedder cheese with hot apple pie ...

In winning ...

In turning left if you dont have to turn right ...

In thunder and lighting ...

In wearing flannels to bed all year long ...

In taking a shower as soon as I wake up ...

In drinking diet coke first thing in the morning ...after the shower

In sleeping with my little pups ...

In going to the movies ...

In having alone time ...

I believe my son is always with me ..

And, when I talk with my son, he hears me ...

I believe there is a God ... yet I do not know him ...

I believe that there is an artisit within me, but afriad to come out ...

and a writer within me, with a story to tell ...

I believe I am capable of loving more, but afraid to open up my heart ...

and ...

I believe I am a woman and mother who wants to live life to its fullest ...

and ...

I know I am afraid ...

White Wednesday

It's White Wednesday again so grab the button and show some of your favorite white things.

About 4 years ago on the first anniversary of my son's death, I wanted to have something that honored him each year, so I went searching for something very special and in my search discovered the most beautiful tiles. They are "Sid Dickens" tiles, handmade into the most beautiful 3-D sculptures. His shop is out of Vancouver Canada. Now every anniversary of my son and every Christmas I purchase one of these beautiful tiles.

Below are the white ones in my collection ...

"The Gift - an infinite moment; survived through forgiveness"

"Victory - with fate's surrender, our love prevails"

"Angelic Spirit - he rode upon a cherub and flewupon the wongs of the wind.

"Ancient Thorn - Holy white and fragrant flower, miracle foreseen by angels"

We Want Everything For Our Kids

It is so hard to be a mom and not be able to do anything to make your kids happy.My daughter and her hubby came to Texas more as a favor to me than anything, hoping to like it and my daughter would do anything to get back to California.

It is so hard to see how sad and miserable she is in Texas. I so wish I had the resources to help her get back there, but I don't; I wish I knew of someone who had a job opening, but i don't; I wish I knew of someone who could rent them a place , but I don't;...it is so hard to not be able to help when you see how desperately your child wants something. They are both working here, but they are not earning enough to move out and get an apartment.

They are newlyweds living with their folks..life is so not want she dreamed it would be the day she got married. And I feel so much to blame for her situation. I thought it would be so good if we all moved to Texas...what a great place to live, but my girl is a California girl through and through and she wants to get back. I know it will happen, just not fast enough for her. I just wish she could be happy for a bit until they do get enough money to head on back to California.

It is hard to be a mom...we want to help, that never stops. We want our kids happy ... that never ends. I pray everyday my daughter will find some inner solace for now.

To my daughter ... California will be there. Something is keeping you here, just be patient and things will unfold. Never ever give up your dream and always have hope.